The I'm not good enough gene kicks in.
The will I ever get better thought pops into your head.
The validation that you crave from an outside source really only comes from within.
The support that you would really like from certain people in your life doesn't transpire.
I blame it on PMS. I almost burst into tears after having a conversation with The Man yesterday and all because there was a small feeling of expectation involved. Really now, I am very aware that expectations from those quarters are non existent but when the hormones are raging, forgetfulness comes into play.
Yes, I am a strong and independent woman who doesn't require a man to make me feel good about myself, but sometimes, just sometimes I wonder if the route that I am taking is the right one. Inside, I know it is right, and on a whole I am happy, life is good and going well, work and life balance is pretty awesome right now though with this house buying coming up, I may be a bit broke for a while...;-)
As for Silks, I am loving it! Though again, that ridiculous self doubt has reared its ugly head. Fear has popped in for a visit and bravery is something I need to work with every time I do it. Ridiculous really, but I did a weird fall thing last week and ever since, I have become fearful, even though I know I am fine in the positions that I have learnt.
So, it is really just a case of 'getting back in the saddle' and working through that mental block which has formed.
Saying that, I am really proud of myself for what I am doing. Considering that I have never done anything like this in my life, I am a feet firmly on the ground type of person ( I don't even ride a bicycle for goodness sake!) AND that I only started Pilates 6 years ago and that has been the bulk of my exercise regime, bar for some sporadic running spurts...I think it is pretty awesome that I am doing this, loving it and taking it at my own pace. I just need to remember that my body is different to someone else's body and that, as I always tell my clients, changing the body and getting stronger is a slow process!
Start position for the flip over (still working on that one...)
Not sure what this is called actually
Stag
Climbing the tree to get the silks up and down
Standing pretty
Love this position
And you, are you ever plagued with self doubts??
2 comments:
I am plagued by self doubt all the time! It sucks.
I think the silks are amazing and what you do totally astounding. I have zero upper body strenght or flexibility (both stuff I should probably work on).
u have absolutely no reason to doubt yrself! I think what u are accomplishing is amazing and i only wish i had half the go that u do! ridiculous that we require validation from others but that is how us human's work unfortunately. I love u and am insanely proud of u and cannot wait to see u in action in July! xx
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