Conversation

Such a funny thing, conversation, really. Do you talk with someone, listen and answer or do you talk at that person without really responding to what is being said. Or do you not really talk at all? Do you say meaning full things when you speak or is it all about the fluff, surface details or do you dig deep and talk about real stuff? And what about non verbal conversations? I am very good at the silent treatment. REALLY good. I just go quiet and not engage at all. Especially when I am angry;-)

I don't speak often of meaning full things. I would like to, with someone who can engage with me in conversation, and talk about things which matter to me, which hover around the brain space while waiting patiently for a time where there is someone who is interested, engaged, fully present. Because how often are we fully present in a conversation? I try to be, especially with my daughter, but boy can she talk! And sometimes her stories are so very very long, but I do try, and I try to engage with her and ask her questions and listen to her answers. She is probably the one person I speak to on a regular basis. Granted, sometimes there isn't much conversation, just short sentences, 'please eat your food', 'don't jump on the couch', 'bathtime' 'I love you' etc etc etc but when I listen, that is when the gems come out. I love her logic and how she thinks and how she feels about things and her words. I try to talk now, because I pray that in the future, she will carry on talking and not go into the silent mode that most children do with their parents. I try, because I want her to know that I am always here and will always listen, no matter what she has to say.

But, back to meaning full conversations, not many of those happen around these parts. The Man and I don't really converse about stuff that matters, I think we did a little while ago, well, maybe when we first met, when we were first discovering things about each other, but since then, not much, we have surface stuff, and if we do talk about something, we talk in the car, on the way to work in the morning. That way, there is a 'get out of jail free card' in place. A limited amount of time, no distractions and you have to get what you want to say said in that time. But saying that there definitely have been times where I have needed to speak and he has supported me in those times of need. It may not be an every day occurrence but I think it happens when it matters. I think it is also me, not attempting conversation, not listening and being stuck in my own head, my own problems and my own random thoughts. Should try harder really... though, he is a man, and he doesn't talk much, he would much rather be in front of his computer.. and me a book...! Hehe, no wonder much talking doesn't happen!

I have a couple of friends(and my sister, who I consider a friend) who don't mind the odd conversation of non fluffiness, where the real and the messy or the philosophical leanings of my thoughts can be aired in a non judgemental fashion and I can offer that right back and that, I think, is a two way conversation. Non judgmental, loving, listening and if need be, advice offered. But I have found the most important part of conversation, is listening. As for non verbal, I think the same goes here, loving, showing support in the way that you know how and even if you don't know how, trying.


And you? How do you converse?