Fat Pants

Every wardrobe needs a pair of Fat Pants.

Come on, you know what I mean, Fat Pants! For those days when nothing else will do. The one item in the wardrobe which doesn't make you feel (any word which portrays the meaning of fat) insert here.

Those pants which love you. Those pants which don't hold you together. They don't require tummy holding in when you close the button. Or pull up the zip. They don't require elasticated waist bands, that just enhances the feeling of fatness. They don't require that you feel one hundred percent sexy, gorgeous and beautiful (even though you are all those things at all times, even on 'Fat days'). They don't require that you Save the world in any which way that you normally do, be it with fetching children, feeding the dog, handing over your last penny to a homeless person. Fat Pants don't judge. Fat Pants don't lie either. Fat Pants love you. In all your glory, but they only come out on Fat days.

Those days when having to hold your tummy in can be likened to having to hold your breath because the dog just made a smelly and you really couldn't bear to breathe it in. Those days when the feeling of heaviness is enough to sink a magnet, attached to a crane. Those days when the first thing you need is a feeling of weightlessness. And Fat Pants can do that. They allow you freedom. They don't stick, poke, tuck, hold BUT they make you look good nonetheless. No one would ever be the wiser that they even had the label of Fat Pants, except you. And who are you going to tell..?

Ah, Fat Pants, the staple of every wardrobe. Alas, even after all this talk of it being a staple, I don't own a pair of winter Fat Pants. Summer ones, yes. They are in a lovely shade of pink, lightweight and I look really good in them, but for now, it is far too cold to wear them. So, this situation needs to be remedied and really quickly because after all this eating I have been doing, I fear, that they will need to make an appearance shortly. Not that you would ever know that that's what they were. I wouldn't breathe a word about when I wore them, secret, hush hush but I would know. And my tummy would know. But I still wouldn't tell...

Fat Pants are the Super Heroes of Pants!

Go Fat Pants Go!
a one, a two, a one two three four..
Go Fat Pants Go!